


If I Hear One More Mariah Carey Song, I Will Riot!

by Blu_Montagne



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Christmas, Holidays, Snowed In
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 09:07:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16930395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blu_Montagne/pseuds/Blu_Montagne
Summary: The GIGN is snowed in by a massive storm that just won't dissipate. Trapped in their chalet with tensions running high, hilarity is sure to ensue as Rook plays one Christmas artist ad nauseum.Just over 1k words, rated M for language. This is the twenty-first addition to the Siegemas Advent event.





	If I Hear One More Mariah Carey Song, I Will Riot!

**Author's Note:**

> (I actually listened to Mariah Carey the entire week I wrote this. I aimed to capture the authentic annoyance, and I believe I delivered it. But I had a blast writing it otherwise! Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year everyone!)

T'was December Twenty-first, and it had snowed all day.  
The GIGN was trapped in their chalet. 

Their cabin-like abode was cozy, festive and warm, but the operatives inside were warring, torn…

“Gustave, you're being as unreasonable as the Grinch right now! Please give me my speaker back!” Julien whined, reaching high. The Doctor had confiscated the younger's radio, holding it above his head. “If I hear one more Mariah Carey song, I will riot! That is literally all you have played the past three days and I am about ill!” Gustave growled. 

“Gus, Jules, please! You two need to settle this, or I'm calling the cops!” Emmanuelle yelled over them, dragging their attention to her, if only for a moment. “We are the cops, Emma! And I'm about to arrest Gustave for...having a..shitty attitude! You ba-humbug, Ebenezer looking motherfucker, give it back!!” Julien growled as he frantically reached higher for his radio, Gustave only holding it higher.

Emmanuelle now shot a glare at an idle Olivier, who was at the kitchen bar, attempting to kill his senses with some spiked eggnog. He caught her glare after guzzling his large glass. “Don't look at me. You know my solution would be to beat the festive fuck out of them both. I'm going to shower. Only come and get me if someone's dying.” he said, standing and disappearing to the upstairs loft.

Emmanuelle was left to deal with the two grown children by her lonesome now, rubbing at her temples as Julien and Gustave now screamed at each other in vehement French. Emmanuelle decided to step outside to breathe, get away from the yelling. She approached the team's lumbering, gentle giant. 

Gilles was leaning against the balcony railing, a lit cigarette in one hand, eggnog in the other. Emmanuelle leaned on the railing as well but shot a scrutinizing look up at him. “You said you quit smoking...put it out!” She chirped. Gilles only shook his head, taking a drag as he dug into his back pocket. He handed the little lady a box of cigarettes and a lighter. “I did quit. But those two dickheads in there have driven me back to it. So long as this snow storm is over us and trapping us here, it will keep me from strangling them, ” he said, dragging again. “Take one...you look like you need it.” he puffed white.

As Emmanuelle sighed in defeat and lit a cigarette, Gilles handed her his cup of eggnog as well, for good measure. “There’s enough Cognac in that one cup to murder a yeti, take care as you drink it. I take it Olivier has been all but useful since I stepped outside?” Gilles asked, Emmanuelle dragging on the cigarette and sipping at his cup. “Oh, he's been about as useful as a dick flavored lollipop, went upstairs to shower. I had to just step out for a minute and breathe. I was coming close to taking one of those bar stools and breaking it over their heads, and you only think I’m kidding...” She said. Gilles snorted, “Easy, Seabiscuit. I’ll go back in and play peacekeeper for as long as I can manage without snapping necks. You just throttle down out here for a bit.” he said with an assuring pat to her shoulder, but then stood straight, crushing what was left of his cancerous stick into a nearby snow glob. “Suck it down Pichon. We’ve children to separate.” He said, making his way back in now.

“Fuck…” Gilles muttered when he entered the living room. Gustave had Julien pinned, attempting to strangle the younger, Julien not putting up much of a fight in the matter. The tallest man now trotted over, snatching them up by their collars. “I have had it up to my eyebrows with your bickering!” he snarled as he pulled them apart. “Gustave, give Julien his speaker back or so help me God, I will knock you senseless! And Julien, you've got to cut it out with the Mariah Carey. At this point, all I want for Christmas is to never hear her again! I would rather strip down buck ass naked, and swan dive off the damn balcony into a snowbank just to get away from her! Just put your playlist on shuffle!” Gilles snarled.

Julien frowned, “I'd love to see you do that Gilles, but while you were outside, Gustave yeeted my speaker and broke it.” The younger said, in a defeated tone as he pointed to his speaker across the floor, broken. Gilles stammered a bit before groaning. “ Oh for fuck’s sake...” Gilles furrowed his brows at Julien, running his hand down his face now. Emmanuelle finally came back in, stopping beside Gilles. “Well...now what? We're out of music, and I’m not about to listen to you three bitch about one another any longer.” Emmanuelle huffed, her words a bit slurred. She didn’t heed Gilles’ warning and downed the eggnog he gave her in one go. She was feeling it most in her speech and stride. 

“I've got a grand idea. It involves us all getting along like the fucking adults we are and singing Christmas carols.” Olivier's voice called from the upstairs loft. The man was now trotting down the stairs lazily, the look on his face suggesting he was just as fed up as the rest of them. The herd sifted to accompany Olivier as he joined them. “Of all the people here, I can't believe I have to say this. This is a time of joy and gathering. To enjoy one another's company and celebrate friends and family, not murder one another. And for those religious, it’s in celebration of our Lord's birth. I would love nothing more than to be home with my son and his mother, but I’m unfortunately stuck here with you baboons. You're my family for Christmas, it seems. It's a time to be thankful. Look around us; we have a spacious, upscale chalet that some families would kill to have. God forbid I have to mention that some families can’t even celebrate Christmas. We have generous amenities--” Olivier paused, dipping cups into the eggnog and handing them out (save for Emmanuelle. She was absolutely smacked at this point,) pausing to sigh. “...And we have each other. It could potentially be so different. We all have dangerous jobs, we’re elite soldiers. We could spend our next Christmas in a casket.” He frowned, the others hanging their head in shame now.

“Just start appreciating one another more. Love one another. It may be your last day to do so.” Olivier looked to each face, offering a kind smile. “Now, I know you're all familiar with Where Are You Christmas...let’s do that one..then after, I say we all go and knock each other’s brains out in a snowball fight,” Olivier said before starting off the song. The others spared glances at one another, hesitant at first. But they soon joined in. By no means were the GIGN any vocal prodigies, and in honesty, they sounded only one note better than a caravan of dump trucks driving headlong into a nitroglycerin factory as they gathered around the tree to sing. But for the first time this Christmas...they finally felt like a family once more.


End file.
